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    父母、老師、同學都不是圣人

    親愛的孩子們:  

    您們好!  

    又到周末我們交流的時間了。這一周好多孩子給我留言讓我很感慨,謝謝孩子們對我的牽掛,謝謝孩子們向我傾訴知心話。有時候我真的覺得上帝很眷顧我,有那么多孩子喜歡我,愿意將自己的煩惱向我傾訴,也愿意把自己的快樂或成功的事兒與我分享,所以,我是快樂的,也深深祝愿孩子們能健康快樂喲!  

    有的孩子在學校與老師搞不好關系,感覺生活沒有意義;有的孩子與同學常常發生口角,覺得自己沒有尊嚴,有被人踐踏的傷痛;有的孩子每天都會被父母責怪,感受不到親情的溫暖;有的孩子因為學習帶來的種種困難,享受不到成就感而自暴自棄......  

    面對這些,老師想對孩子們說:生活中遇到不開心和不如意的,甚至受委屈的事兒都是常見的。一所學校就是一個小社會,我們每天所處的環境,包括家庭就是社會的一角,社會上有什么,仍然會反應到我們的生活中。對于“不公平的”、“欺負人的”、“受委屈的”、“不被理解的”、“說三道四的”可以說是難以枚舉呀......  

    面對這些,我們難道只能自暴自棄?只能選擇離開學校?我們難道就真的無法生存了嗎?不,不是這樣的!我想,只要我們能正確對待自己所遇到的一切遭遇和不公平的待遇,能從不同的角度去思考,我們同樣可以笑,同樣可以充滿自信,同樣可以繼續在校園里和同學一塊學習的。不管我們心理感受大了多么大的委屈,我們都得放下心中的怨氣,只有這樣才能直面生活的各種困惑,才能勇敢地去正視來自四面八方的壓力,當我們能接納這一切時,心智就慢慢成熟了,我們也就長大了喲。  

      《 讀者》首卷有這樣一個故事,這個故事曾經震撼過我,讓我懂得了許多,所以刻骨銘心。故事是這樣開始的:一群年輕人去拜訪大學時的老師,老師見到自己的學生非常高興,于是興致勃勃的問大家生活得怎么樣?殊不知這一問勾出了大家的滿腹牢騷。大家您一言,我一語,紛紛訴說著生活的種種不如意:什么工作壓力大呀,生活煩惱多呀,孩子不聽話呀,做生意的商戰不順呀,當官的仕途受阻呀……一時間,大家仿佛都成了上帝的棄兒。
       老師靜靜地聽著卻笑而不語。不久,他從房間里拿出許許多多的杯子擺在茶幾上。這些杯子各式各樣,有瓷器的,有玻璃的,有塑料的,有的杯子看起來高貴典雅,有的杯子看起來簡陋低廉……老師說:“都是我的學生,我就不把你們當客人看待了。你們要是渴了,自己倒水喝吧。”
      這一群年輕人,早已說得口干舌燥了,便紛紛拿了自己中意的杯子倒水喝。就在大家手里都端子喝水時,老師講話了,他指著茶幾上剩下的杯子說:“大家有沒有發現,你們挑選去的杯子都是最好看最別致的杯子,而像這些塑料杯就沒有人選中它。”這些年輕人并不覺得奇怪,哈哈笑著說:是呀,誰都希望自己的手里拿著的是一只好看的杯子。
      老師接著說:“是呀,這就是你們煩惱的根源。大家需要的是水,而不是杯子,但我們有意無意地會去選用好的杯子。這就如我們的生活——如果生活是水的話,那么,工作、金錢、地位這些東西就是杯子,它們只是我們用來盛起生活之水的工具。杯子的好壞,并不能影響水的質量,如果將心思花在杯子上,你哪有心情去品嘗水的苦甜,這不是自尋煩惱嗎?   

    孩子們,這位老師說出了一句多么富有哲理的話呀!很多時候,當我們不再把心思外在的物欲和別人的評價上,或許我們的注意力就會轉入追尋自己內心世界里的財富感受生命的韻律之美,猶如欣賞一曲美妙的音樂一樣,就像我們的人生,從生命的第一天“嬰兒——幼兒——童年——少年——青年——中年——老年,誰也不能否認這是一種美好的安排。  

    有一個孩子,始終對自己的父母充滿怨恨。直至有一天,他的母親生病住進了醫院,在母親的病榻前,他望著憔悴的母親,忽然明白:世界上真正能完美唯有那些圣人。而母親,不是圣人雖然她愛,但難免有些顧此失彼。想到這內心里完全釋然了。于是,在母親的床前盡起自己的孝道,小心地侍候著母親。  

    從那次開始,每一次與母親有些小矛盾之后,馬上告訴自己:母親不是圣人,我不能總希望她能做到與自己所期望的完全一樣。況且自己又何嘗做到完全如她的期望呢?于是,釋然了,又樂悠悠地母親和睦相處,偶爾還陪著母親四處逛街。推而廣之,我們的老師也不是圣人,我們的同學更不是完美的。這樣想想,很多時候,我們都可以釋然呀,能這樣想,快樂的腳步聲就離我們越來越近了對吧    

     孩子們,一個雙手殘疾用腳彈奏鋼琴書寫人生的男孩說自己是天下最幸福的人,因為覺得擁有愛,而且還能用自己的努力讓自己從未對生活失望一個健康活潑,年輕漂亮,家庭里有著豐厚的物質條件的人卻說:“哪里有什么幸福?狗屁!  

      這就是兩種對生活有著截然不同看法的人對生活的態度。可見,“快樂不快樂,幸福不幸福”都是內心的感受而已,這感受不是具體的可觸摸的物質是另外的東西,是有靈性的東西只有懂得生活,細細品味生活,能換位思索的人,才能抓住這惟妙惟肖的感受。正如孩子們每天放學的那一刻,或終于在某一時刻完成了任務時那種輕松、愉悅、欣然怒放的感覺一樣。  

    請孩子們謹記:生活不是真空,千萬不要為生活中出現的各種矛盾耿耿于懷,斤斤計較喲。時刻告誡自己:父母、老師、同學都不是圣人有更多的理解,更多的寬容,學會換位思考,學著為他人著想,我想,我們的煩惱自然會減少的。  

    祝孩子們健康、快樂、進取!  

    鄒老師敬上  

    2012年3月16日 


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