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    延遲欲望培養自我克制能力

    親愛的孩子們:  

    您們好!  

        周末到了喲,快讓忙碌的心放松一下吧,和父母在一塊聊聊學校的故事,讓父母分享您的校園生活和學習所帶來的快樂;如果您有什么想法或有什么建議也可以向父母傾訴喲;想踏青的孩子要提前把作業完成,然后和父母一塊踏青去吧,盡情享受春日的陽光,盡情沐浴春風的溫暖,盡情感受春天的魅力,讓家充滿親情的味道吧。  

        還是說故事給孩子們聽吧。一個商人因為業務發展的需要,決定招聘一個小伙計。
      他在商店里的窗戶上,貼了一張獨特的廣告:“招聘:一個能自我克制的男士。每星期4美元,合適者可以拿6美元。”
      “自我克制”這個術語在村里引起了議論,這有點不平常。這引起了小伙子們的思考,也引起了父母們的思考。這自然引來了眾多求職者。
      每個求職者都要經過一個特別的考試。
      “能閱讀嗎?孩子。”
      “能,先生。”
      “你能讀一讀這一段嗎?”他把一張紙放在小伙子的面前。
      “可以,先生。”
      “你能一刻不停頓地朗讀嗎?”
      “可以,先生。”
      “很好,跟我來。”商人把他帶到他的私人辦公室,然后把門關上。
      他把這張報紙送到小伙子手上,上面印著他答應不停頓地讀完的那一段文字。閱讀剛一開始,商人就放出6只可愛的小狗,小狗跑到男孩的腳邊。這太過分了,男孩經受不住誘惑要看看美麗的小狗。由于視線離開了閱讀材料,男孩忘記了自己的角色,讀錯了。當然,他失去了這次機會。
       就這樣,商人打發了70個男孩。終于,有個男孩不受誘惑一口氣讀完了。商人很高興。他們之間有這樣一段對話:
       商人問:“你在讀書的時候,沒有注意到你腳邊的小狗嗎?”
      男孩回答道:“對,先生。”
      “我想你應該知道他們的存在,對嗎?”
      “對,先生。”
      “那么,為什么你不看一看它們?”
      “因為我告訴過你,我要不停頓的讀完這一段。”
      “你總是遵守你的諾言嗎?”
      “的確是,我總是努力地去做,先生。”
      商人在辦公室走著,突然高興地說道:“你就是我要的人。明天7點種來,你每周的工資是6美元。我相信,你大有發展的前途。”
      后來,男孩的最終發展的確如商人所說,若干年后,男孩成了一個有著良好口碑的百萬富翁。
        孩子們,自制力就是自我克制的能力。克制是一種意志,是一種歷練,是一種節制的美,忍耐的美。大凡有所作為的人一定是個有克制之美的人;一個克制力強的人,也往往是生活的強者和自己命運的主宰者。因克制,他們擁有堅強的意志,從而不斷抵御和放棄各種誘人的欲望步履走過人生之路,收獲人生的每一個季節。所以自我克制是成功的基本要素之一。  

    現實生活中,很多人因為不能自我克制,所以無法把自己的精力投入到該做的事情中,因而誤了很多的事兒。有的孩子也是如此,該學習的時候想著玩,該玩的時候有牽掛著學習,結果玩不好,也學不好;有的孩子由于不能克制自己貪玩的欲望,就把該干的事兒統統給忘了,等玩過之后再想干就沒有時間了。  

    這樣的情況,老師過去也有過,所以克制能力不是與生俱來的,它需要在等待和學習中培養。有的孩子該完成的作業都做完了,本來說好的可以看電視了,可是老師建議:在這樣的情況下不妨對自己說:現在還不能看,推遲5分鐘再看吧;有的孩子看見糖果就想吃,本來也可以吃的,但是老師建議:遇到這樣的情況,不妨對自己說延遲5分鐘再吃吧;有的孩子喜歡看電視,盡管什么事兒都干完了,可是老師建議不妨對自己說:待會兒再看也不遲的......用這樣的方法來培養自己克制的能力,比如:第一、二周延遲5分鐘滿足自己的欲望,第二、三周延遲10分鐘滿足自己的欲望,第三、四周延遲一刻鐘滿足自己的欲望,第五、六周延遲20分鐘滿足自己的欲望,第七、八周延遲25分鐘滿足自己的欲望,第九、十周延遲半個小時滿足自己的欲望,這樣一來,我堅信您的克制能力就在兩個半月的磨礪中擁有了。  

    曾經看見一個幼兒園教師做了一個實驗:在每個小朋友的桌子上放了3塊餅干,老師對小朋友說現在想吃可以的,老師要出去一下,如果等老師回來時,還沒有吃餅干的小朋友,老師就再獎勵3快餅干。說完老師就走了,十分鐘后,老師回到教室發現33個小朋友中有20個小朋友已經將餅干吃完了,有11個小朋友正在吃,1個小朋友手里拿著餅干慢慢舔著,一個小朋友把頭低著不看桌子上的餅干。  

    在十分鐘的等待中,小朋友面對餅干的誘惑所表現的不同態度證明了每個小朋友的克制能力是不同的,只有一名小朋友抵制了餅干的的誘惑,采用不看餅干的方式最終取得了三塊餅干的回報。  

    孩子,對于自我克制能力的培養,不僅在思想上要高度重視,更為重要的是能針對自己的某種弱點有意識的進行一定的訓練,逐漸培養克制能力。因為我們真的很需要這樣的能力。  

    祝孩子們健康、快樂、進取!  

    鄒老師敬上  

    2012年4月13日


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